![]() In a stunning example of the kind of mind-set that undermines good daily experience, most people reflexively say that they prefer being at home to being at work. “ Flow” (being so wrapped up in what you’re doing that the world falls away) is an active state of attention that research shows we like more than endless hours in front of the TV. You don’t need more time “doing nothing” to recharge, you need more challenges that you find engrossing. ![]() Research shows that when they confront a potentially unpleasant situation, such as some unfriendly faces at a gathering, these extraverts are apt to shift their attention rapidly around the room and zero in on amiable or neutral visages, thus short-circuiting the distressing images before they can get stored in memory. Individuals of sanguine temperament, such as certain politicians, CEOs and salesmen, seem naturally to excel at directing their focus away from negative targets. Part of it may be acting but they also have a tendency to selectively pay attention to positive reinforcers. How do politicians and salesmen stay so positive? Meditation can increase your attention span. Indeed, he finds that in the wake of an upsetting event, “self-deception and emotional avoidance are consistently and robustly linked to a better outcome.” Even when you’re reeling from a severe blow, such as a loved one’s death, diverting your focus from your grief can boost your resilience.Īs I’ve posted before, more thinking can cure bad feelings. That’s why people happier than you do it all the time.ĭirecting your attention away from a negative experience not only is not as maladaptive as many of his peers think but, according to the Columbia psychologist George Bonanno, can be a superior coping strategy. After a big blowup over an equitable sharing of the housework, rather than continuing to concentrate on your partner’s selfishness and sloth, you might focus on the fact that at least a festering conflict has been aired, which is the first step toward a solution to the problem, and to your improved mood. … direct your attention to some element of the situation that frames things in a more helpful light. Research pioneered by Arnold and Lazarus shows reappraising situations, focusing on the good elements of “bad” events, can be a huge step toward staying positive. How you react to things is more important than what actually happens. (I still have your undivided attention, right? Just checking.) So in a world of buzzing iPhones and relentless emails and text messages, how can you better control your attention and make yourself happier? Kahneman says that both the Dalai Lama and the Penn positive psychologist Martin Seligman would agree about the importance of paying attention: “Being able to control it gives you a lot of power, because you know that you don’t have to focus on a negative emotion that comes up.” It has to do with the allocation of attention.”Īnd controlling that attention can be the key to your happiness. They enjoy their meals, their friends, the newspaper. Then they adapt and stop paying attention to it.” Similarly, he says, “Everyone is surprised by how happy paraplegics can be, but they are not paraplegic full-time. For a while, they are happy because of the novelty, and because they think about winning all the time. “People think that if they win the lottery, they’ll be happy forever. In other words, they stop focusing on it. Why?įor each, being rich or being paralyzed eventually becomes one small piece of their very big life. Via Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life:īased on objective lab tests that measure vision, Barbara Fredrickson, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, shows that paying attention to positive emotions literally expands your world, while focusing on negative feelings shrinks it - a fact that has important implications for your daily experience.Īs Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman famously said, “ Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it.”Īs research has shown, lottery winners aren’t as happy as you might guess and paraplegics aren’t as unhappy as you might think. Research shows that paying attention to positive feelings literally expands your world.
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